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November 4, 2010 @ 12:13 am

HYKI Holiday Survival Guide

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The holidays are almost upon on and the use of the preposition "upon" is but one clue as to how much we are looking forward to them. We give you tips on how to make it from Thanksgiving to Kwanzaa with a heady mix of Vegas, booze, pop psychology, and denial. See how Vince Vaughn measures up against his oft co-star (meh) P. Van Horn, get advice on advice, find out how certain monotheists deliver the mail, and much more. Please enjoy. Happy Festivus.

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  • Kelly

    I gotta stop listening to these during lunch. I’m having a hard time keeping anything down for all the laughter that keeps erupting.

    Can’t even tell you how much I love the idea of the holidays in Vegas. I love my family but hanging out with them during the holidays is torture. Every holiday season, there’s this mad insanity of planning who’s going to whose house and when along with this forced sense of frivolity while we all slam down enough alcohol to be able to tolerate each other. The thought of luxuriating in a big bed in a strange town (face it, even if you know that place like the back of your hand, it’s strange) with no family around is … so tempting.

    Holding a parking spot by standing in it? Really? There’s a new term in my lexicon now, the “bumper tap,” that I’m wishing I had years ago when I watched a cranky bastard of an old man make his entire family stand in a spot outside the Kips Bay Loews theater while he went to get the car. If it weren’t for the sad, scared looking children standing with their mom, you can be sure she would have received said tap.

    And, finally, I am making my list and checking it twice … of all the inappropriate things I can say/do to make myself more discussed than I’m sure I already am. I’m pushing 40, single, childless (by choice), tattooed, and caring less and less what people think with every minute that goes by. The family discusses me already so I figure I might as well make the stories more interesting. Thing is, I’m vying with one of my grandmothers, currently in a home because of dementia or Alzheimer’s. Every time she gets a UTI, her dosage of meds gets screwed and she loses it. How do you compete with a woman who, last time she got a UTI, tried to strangle her roommate with a phone cord? Really?

    Keep these coming ladies! If I have to push off eating my lunch til I’m done listening, I will. You’re a riot of a duo!

    Nov 4, 2010 at 2:03 pm
  • carlo

    I was wondering what the staff at HYKI thought about gift-wrapping. Do you prefer sticking gifts in a bag or wrapping it in festive holiday paper with ornate bows and ribbon? And how do you like receiving your gifts? I feel like bags are so ho-hum. Wrapping is much more exciting.

    Nov 4, 2010 at 5:53 pm
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