hey you know it

In our last podcast (Ep. 7: Relationships, Injustice, and Jason Bateman)  I recounted my comic-tragic story of how I got sucker punched on the A train. My response was that I needed to get a piece, but we know that ain't going to happen. It's just too inconvenient with NYC's restrictive gun laws that keep us all safe from gun-related crimes. Really the only people can secure a gun in NYC sans hassle are criminals and I am not ready for street justice. Perhaps I'll reconsider after I get assaulted again and the cops do NOTHING again and then just downgrade it to menacing.  Well, they have to protect their stats and make the city look safer, otherwise they would be not not doing their jobs... Maybe then I'll consider going vigilante ala Jodie Foster in the seminal "this little lady has had enough" flick The Brave One. So after careful consideration we decided on the next best thing, aside from getting a functioning police department that responds to victims, is this little baby: The Sabre Red Pepper Spray from Bud K. This ready-for-clutch-purse-carrying pepper spray not only helps you fight crime--it helps you fight breast cancer. And it's pink, the defining color of femininity. So when you blast this in your attacker's eyes he'll be aware of breast cancer all the way to the precinct until they release him on his own recognizance, because you were asking for it anyway. Is there anything you can't buy that doesn't support the fight against breast cancer? That's a rhetorical question, of course. Also available, Lipstick Stun Gun. It's the kiss of death, with style...